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Quiet Pandemonium

Inspiration

The Importance of Setting Eternal Goals Instead of Temporal Ones

January 13, 2016 by Brenda Leave a Comment

Goal-Setting

Since I have had requests from online friends and family to share the talk I gave in church the end of December, here you go. 🙂

 

I thought I would share a poem I wrote years ago that I think fits the topic assigned to me. It is called My Light.

 

My Light

The darkness gets closer,
I am all alone.
The silence, it’s deafening,
What seeds have I sown?
 
The light it is familiar
Yet distant to me.
In the darkness of the shadows
I long to be free–
 
I see the light before me
So brightly it shines
So steady, not a flicker
So different from mine.
 
My own light is fading
It’s dimming so fast,
My lamp, almost empty,
My oil won’t last.
 
The light, it comes much closer,
The lamp, it is full.
It shines so ever brightly,
Mine in contrast, is dull.
 
The owner of the lamp’s before me,
The face it is kind.
I beg to use some oil from her lamp,
To brighten up mine.
 
With eyes full of sorrow,
A tear on her cheek
A voice full of gentle love,
Humbly did speak;
 
“I cannot give away my oil
To help your lamp to burn.
A testimony and good works
Are drops of oil you must earn.
 
“The oil I have within my lamp
Is not enough I fear,
To help us both to reach the side
Of the Savior who is near.”
 
She turned away and with heavy heart,
I did watch her go…
The light of her lamp was steady,
Her countenance did glow.
 
I looked upon my tarnished lamp,
My heart about to break,
The steady tears rolled down my face
As from my dream I did wake.
 
The morning light shone on my face,
The darkness, it had passed.
A brighter light of my own
Was still within my grasp.
 
The stranger in my dream familiar,
Her face I clearly see…
With a startling recognition,
I realize the stranger is me.
 
A different sort of person
She’s what I could be,
If I make the effort…
If I clearly see–
 
My lamp is almost empty
But now I must begin,
To make my oil to fill my lamp,
The light that shines within.
 
It seems like at this time every year, we begin to think about setting new goals for the New Year. We like new beginnings and fresh starts. We like having a clean slate. So we set new goals to better ourselves and inherently we break them by the end of January.
 
Yesterday, on my facebook, I posted a meme about goals and it pretty much fits this cycle. It says:
“My goals for 2016 are to accomplish the goals I set in 2015,
That I promised I’d do in 2014,
That seemed like a good idea in 2013,
That I aspired to accomplish in 2012.
 
It was accompanied by a hashtag that said: #HaveFaithInMe.
 
Despite the humor of this truthful meme, there is another subtle truth within it: As long as you don’t give up on your goal, you haven’t failed. As long as you keep trying, you get endless 2nd chances. And this pertains not only to temporal goals, but also the more important spiritual goals.
 
It should be no surprise that goal setting is a principle taught in the church starting at a young age. In Primary, we have the Faith in God program where children are taught a basic program of setting and achieving goals. In Young Women, the Personal Progress program teaches goal setting as they make and achieve goals set around Christlike attributes and values that will help them to become women of God. The Young Men have the Duty to God program where they set and achieve goals that help them prepare to be priesthood leaders in their future homes. By the time we are adults, the Lord hopes we have learned to implement the eternal principle of setting worthy goals and we will use them in our church callings and homes. Goal setting is an eternal principle patterned after our Heavenly Parents.
 
We have been learning to set goals long before our time here on earth. We learned to set goals in the pre-existence. Goals helped us to progress spiritually there just as they do here. Our main goal in the pre-existence is the same one we have today: To become like our Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother. In order to achieve this major goal, we had to set 3 smaller and specific goals:
1. Come to Earth
2. Receive a Body
3. Prove that we can keep the commandments given to us by the Lord
 
Since we are here, we have already achieved the first two smaller and specific goals: Come to Earth and Receive a Body. Now we are all working on the 3rd goal we set: Prove that we can keep the commandments given to us by the Lord. Of course, we all have made mistakes in achieving that goal. It’s hard. But our Heavenly Father knew that and provided us a way to have endless second chances while we are here on earth. The first way is when we are baptized by one who has the authority to do baptize us in the name of the Lord. All of our mistakes are washed clean and we are brand new. Of course we still make mistakes after that, as we are human and this is part of our learning process. However, we have been given the gift of repentance. When we use the Atonement, which is something we should be using ALL THE TIME—not just once or twice—but CONTINUALLY, we get to start over with a clean slate again and again. Each Sunday, we get the opportunity to take the Sacrament. This gives us a chance to renew our baptismal covenants and once again it is as if we are washed clean and get a new chance to do better.
 
Even though the goal of “Proving that we can keep the commandments given to us by the Lord” is a smaller goal of the larger “Become like our Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother” goal, it is still too big for us to do without breaking it down. It helps us to set smaller spiritual and eternal goals that will help us to progress spiritually.
 
So how do we set spiritual goals for ourselves and our family that will help us meet our big eternal goal? I thought that I would share some of the things we have tried in our family. Now before you think that the Emmett’s are perfect—we are SO NOT perfect. This is not going to be one of those “Do this exactly and then you will reach the celestial kingdom” kind of examples. I fully plan to share not only what HAS worked, but also what HASN’T worked for us. Believe me when I say we are very much a work in progress. But maybe some of what I share will help you come up with new ideas for your own families.
 
Let’s start with the goal of daily scripture reading as a family. This is a goal that can help us to feel the spirit in our home and bring us spiritual protection if we are faithful in keeping it. We so failed at this one over and over. We would start and stop. Start and Stop. Start and Give UP! I was pretty sure we would never be one of those families who read the scriptures every single day. It seemed impossible. I was just hoping that Chandler wouldn’t be at church and ask what the Book of Mormon or the Bible was. Seriously.
 
It wasn’t until AFTER we had moved here to Lovell, that we got it finally figured out. About 6 months after we moved here, I decided we should try one last time. So on January 1st, 2009, I sprung it on Gary and Chandler. I asked them if we could try to set a goal as a family to read our scriptures every single day. They agreed. So we set up “The Rules.” We decided to start with The Book of Mormon. We would read just two chapters a night before bed. We would rotate on who started each night. It was that person’s responsibility to say the family prayer at the end. It was kind of a 2-in-1 goal. We decided that we would each read 5 verses at a time and if we got to the end of the chapter and there were only 2 verses left, that person would keep reading to finish it. If there were 3 or more, the next person did it. This worked well until we got to Jacob 5 which has 77 LONG verses. That was when we decided to just read ONE chapter that night. The next night we would read 3 chapters as they were much shorter. We decided that we would be doing 2 chapters a night on AVERAGE.
 
I wish I could say that we had amazing spiritual experiences right away. We didn’t. There were some nights that one or two of us just didn’t feel like doing it. But the 3rd person always drug us along because we couldn’t break our record after XX days or XX months. So we persevered. We just read them to get it done and say we did it. It worked. We’ve read them for 6 straight years. We’ve read the Book of Mormon several times, the Doctrine & Covenants, the Pearl of Great Price, and even the Bible twice.
 
One year we decided to see how many times we could read The Book of Mormon in a single year, reading just 2 chapters a day on average. We found out we could do it 3 ½ times. Who knew? Now I am happy to say that we have evolved a bit since those first couple of years. We now often make comments as we go along and share personal insights or ask and answer questions. We discuss what we are reading and it really is an enjoyable time for our family each night.
 
Now maybe reading 2 chapters a day seems like more than you can possible do in your own family. It really doesn’t take that long. However, if you have small kiddos, then maybe just ONE VERSE is all you can do. It still counts. I promise. Maybe try reading the Book of Mormon reader instead and read one of the scripture stories in it. Maybe read it as a bedtime story. The point is you may have to be creative and think outside of the box to make it work for your family.
 
One of the challenges we had was that Gary’s job often had him traveling away from the family. We couldn’t always go with him. So how do you read scriptures and have family prayer when Dad is in another state? We chose to do it over the phone. We would put Gary on speaker phone and read scriptures and pray over the phone. Sometimes this would be really late at night (like midnight). Sometimes he would still be driving, so we would read to HIM over the phone and then pray. He was allowed to not close his eyes for the prayer on those occasions. The point is we found a solution and sometimes we had to be creative to make it happen.
 
The year after we started the scripture and family prayer challenge, we decided to try adding Family Home Evening into the mix. We had a track record with Family Home Evening, much like our previous scripture reading record. We’d hit and miss all over the place. So we decided that we’d make sure we did SOMETHING every single week. Again since Dad was traveling at the time, this meant Family Home Evening wasn’t always on Monday Night. We had to be flexible. Sometimes we watched a movie together. Other times we played a game or went for a walk as a family. Occasionally we had a lesson. The idea was to create the habit.
 
Once we had this down, I decided to up the stakes. I arranged a time in December to talk with Gary alone. I suggested we set a schedule with themes for the following year. We talked about what we thought we needed in our family and set our themes for each month.
 
Toward the end of that year, in 2012, I decided we needed to up the stakes again. Once again, I arranged time to discuss this with Gary. I thought we ought to have a monthly scripture and sing a new hymn or primary song each week. So our first week was always a lesson that Gary or I taught out of the Preach My Gospel manual. The second week was a conference talk that Gary chose for our family. Either he or I would teach that, depending on who taught the first week. The 3rd week we had Chandler teach and it was based on the youth theme for that month. The 4th week, I taught a lesson based on a Scripture Hero that we had chosen. If there was a 5th week, we did a family service project.
This worked really well, and we had some amazing progress as a family. However, we forgot to schedule any FUN time into Family Home Evening. We missed our game nights. We needed to improve on that.
 
At the end of the year, Gary and I had our usual planning meeting. For 2014, I suggested we set our themes around the monthly Youth Themes in the Come Follow Me program. We implemented the monthly scripture again and chose a hymn to sing each week. We set up a schedule where Gary would teach the lesson the first week, based off of a conference talk within that theme. The next week, I taught from another conference talk. On week 3, Chandler shared what he had learned in Young Men and Sunday School so far that month. The 4th week we had a planned Family Game Night. And once again, if there was a 5th Monday, we did a family service project.
 
Last year, we decided to try something new since Chandler was not going to be in Young Men for much longer at that time. We set the goal that for Family Home Evening, we would read a chapter of Jesus the Christ. We have only been partially successful in keeping that goal. We’ve had Family Home Evening regularly, but sometimes we’ve played a game or watched a movie together instead. Sometimes we have had a lesson that our family needed right then rather than reading from Jesus the Christ. But the times we have read Jesus the Christ together, have been amazing times of learning for our family. I am sure that as Gary and I sit down to plan for next year this week, we will continue with that goal of reading a chapter of Jesus the Christ. I’ve missed not doing our weekly hymns this year, and we are already planning on re-implementing that that along with a monthly scripture to Ponderize as a family.
 
Now doing some of what we have done might work well for your family. If you have small children, you can teach lessons around the primary theme. Use the Youth theme for your youth. No kids? Adults can choose conference talks or Sunday lessons to study together. Family Home Evening is what you make of it. Be creative. Make it fit your family. But don’t lose sight of the spiritual progress you can make as a family. Anything you can do together can help you progress and keep open the lines of communication. Games are a great way to learn to talk with your kids. It makes you both feel comfortable and will help later on when they have serious things that need to be discussed.
 
Can’t do Family Home Evening on Monday night? Choose a time that works for your family. Maybe you have a free Saturday and can take a road trip up to the Temple grounds. Walk around the grounds and talk about temples and what they mean. That can totally count as an awesome Family Night during the day. Can’t make that drive? Have a picnic in the park instead. Or play a game. Just do SOMETHING and identify it as Family Home Evening for your kids.
 
As we set spiritual goals for ourselves and our families, we will help each other become closer to our goal of Becoming like our Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother. They want us to return to live with them. The want us to grow and learn. And a way has been provided for us if we will take advantage of the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. We can become like them as long as we keep trying and changing our spiritual goals as the Spirit directs us in our own lives and families. Remember: As long as you don’t give up on your goal, you haven’t failed. As long as you keep trying, you get endless 2nd chances. As long as we do this, our lamps will be filled with everlasting oil and our lights will shine for all to see no matter how dark the world may become in these latter days. We will help others “Come Unto Christ”, as we Come Unto Him.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Filed Under: Inspiration Tagged With: Brenda Emmett, goals, Inspiration, My Faith

Holiday Bliss 2010-December 14

December 14, 2010 by Brenda 5 Comments

Since I posted about my great grandma’s sugar cookies yesterday, she has been on my mind.  There is one other recipe that I have that we love around here that came from her.  It is for Molasses Popcorn. The funny thing is that the first time I made it as a girl, I was the first person to know and understand what she meant in her directions.  She says to cook everything until thick and done.  I got it right and I always have.  It aggravated the rest of the family because no one else could manage to do that.  No one understood what that meant exactly.  And since great grandma had passed away, no one could get a definitive answer from her.  But her answer would have most likely been something along the lines of “When it is thick and done.  Just like I said.”

Luckily for the family, I have a heart and I eventually figured out what temperature should be reached on a candy thermometer.  I still do it by just looking and by feel, but for those less blessed in the mind reading department, I have it written down and included in my directions.  I don’t profess to be able to read the mind of anyone else, but I apparently do understand my great grandma.  One of these days I just know I will find her salt-rising bread recipe and be able to master that as well.  No one seems to have a copy of that one, but I do have a couple of places to still look.  I have faith that I will find it and be able to include it in my recipe treasures.

Great Grandma’s Molasses Popcorn

1 Cup sugar

2 TB molasses

1/3 Cup canned (evaporated) milk

1 TB butter

1 tsp. baking soda

Cook all ingredients except baking soda until thick and done. (275* on a candy thermometer.)  Then add the baking soda and stir well.  Pour quickly over popped corn.  (This cooks quickly, so watch it carefully.  Stir fast when adding baking soda.  It gets foamy.)  Never gets sticky, just sugary and good.

What Holiday Bliss are you celebrating today?

Filed Under: Inspiration Tagged With: Brenda Emmett, Holiday Bliss 2010, In the Kitchen, Inspiration

Holiday Bliss 2010-December 11

December 11, 2010 by Brenda 5 Comments

I am still going to hold my nativities hostage until Sunday.  I’ll post all about them then.  i promise.  😉

One of the things I love about Christmas time is making homemade candies and treats.  You got my popcorn ball recipe yesterday.  Today, I am going to share my favorite recipe for cream caramels.  I love caramel and this recipe is especially good and easy to make.  I have made this since I was a teenager.  It was the recipe of an older lady in my church and people are always excited when I make these.

Cream Caramels

2 Cups Sugar

1 Cube Butter

2/3 Cup White Karo Syrup

1 Cup Light Cream (2 Cups Cream altogether)

Bring slowly to a boil, stirring constantly.  Slowly add other cup cream, stirring well.  Cook, stirring frequently.  When it becomes dark and thick, stir all the time.  Cook until it reached hard ball stage.  (Or when it forms a hard ball when placed in cold water.)  Pour in buttered pan and cool.  Cut into pieces and wrap in waxed paper.

Can add 1/2 Cup chopped nuts before pouring in pan.  Enjoy!

If you want to dip these in chocolate, I recommend freezing the individual pieces before dipping.

What Holiday Bliss are you celebrating today?

Filed Under: Inspiration Tagged With: Brenda Emmett, Holiday Bliss 2010, In the Kitchen, Inspiration

Holiday Bliss 2010-December 10

December 10, 2010 by Brenda 16 Comments

I know that yesterday I said I would tell you about my nativities.  But after working so long all day and into the night on work problems, I am exhausted.  So today, I am simply going to share a favorite recipe.  It is a Christmas tradition around here to make popcorn balls.  We love to make red ones and green ones.  The funny thing is that Chandler hates popcorn.  We could skip this completely each year and make him happy.  But I love them and especially this recipe.  We have made them every year I have been married and that is a long time.  I think I will insist we make these today so I can indulge in the sugary goodness they bring.

Popcorn Balls

1 Cup Sugar

1/4 Cup Butter (the real stuff)

1/3 Cup water

1/4 Cup Karo Syrup

3/4 tsp. salt (optional)

1 tsp. Vanilla

Food Coloring (optional)

12-16 Cups Popcorn

Combine ingredients except for vanilla and food coloring.  Cook to hard ball stage.  Add the vanilla and coloring.  Stir and pour over popcorn.  Form into balls.  Enjoy.

What Holiday Bliss are you celebrating today?

Filed Under: Inspiration Tagged With: Brenda Emmett, Holiday Bliss 2010, In the Kitchen, Inspiration, recipe

Holiday Bliss 2010-December 6

December 6, 2010 by Brenda 13 Comments

Today I want to share one of our very favorite holiday recipes.  This tradition was begun while I was a young girl and my family lived in Texas.  In Texas, it was a tradition to have a pot of Wassail going the whole month of December to serve friends and neighbors who drop in.  Even though we no longer live in Texas, we continue this tradition in our home. It is yummy and I love to have this ready to drink at a moments notice. I will be mixing this up today to serve throughout the month.

Wassail

4 Cups pineapple juice

1 1/2 Cups apricot nectar

4 Cups apple cider

1 Cup orange juice

Place in crockpot.  Then add:

2 Sticks cinnamon

2 tsp. whole cloves

1 tsp. ground nutmeg

Place spices in cheesecloth and float in juice mixture.  Warm in crockpot and Enjoy!

What Holiday Bliss is happening in your home today?

Filed Under: Inspiration Tagged With: Brenda Emmett, Holiday Bliss 2010, Inspiration, recipes

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